This week I am again going to talk about something that is not strictly a Runaways story, but concerns a topic about which people have asked a lot of questions over the years. I'm talking about my appearance on (gulp) yes, The Dating Game.
Why The Dating Game? In the early '80's, while I was working at Skyhill Publishing/Tarka Music (see Story of teh Week for July 14, 2000) I had a roomate who was a booker for Chuck Barris Productions. Her job was to get potential contenstants for The Dating Game to come in for an audition, and she had a weekly quota of applicants. One week she hadn't met her quota and was desperate, so she begged me to go in. All I had to do was show up. I didn't even have to try to be good or likeable or to get on the show.
I showed up at the audition and they lined us up and put us up three at a time to ask and answer mock quetions with the writing staff. Since I had already fulfilled my duty to my roommate, I didn't really care about impressing anyone and just started mouthing off. Of course, they loved me for that, and right after my "audition," someone came up to me and told me they wanted to book me on the show. I figured what the hell, it ought to be a laugh so I agreed. The first thing I had to do was come up with a list of potential questions and then meet with one of the show's writers to go over them and refine them. We came up with our questions, and they set a date for my taping. I was told to arrive 3 hours before the taping and to bring 3 different outfits for them to choose from.
I arrived at the studio in Hollywood where the show was to be taped with my 3 outfits in tow. I put on the first one, a clingy, dark red dress, but since I was going to have to change 2 more times, I didn't bother to put shoes on and walked out for the director barefoot. The director thought that was great and said they'd never had anyone go on the show barefoot and that I was going to be the first. Then they sent to me to makeup, where they put so much eyeliner on me I looked like Mick Jagger. Next stop -- a run-through of my questions with one of the writing staff.
As you probably know if you've watched the show, each episode of The Dating Game features 2 games. In each game, there is one person, usually, but not always, a woman, asking questions of 3 members of the opposite sex. I was to be the asker in the first game on the show, and another woman was to be interviewing 3 bachelors in game number 2. Both of us met with the writer about an hour before the taping to run through our questions and get warmed up. We'd both gotten to know the writer a little when we worked with him on our questions, so we were comfortable even though we were nervous. The writer had done this hundreds of times and was obviously a little bit bored with the process and was giving us kind of flip answers. After one particularly lame answer, I responded "okay, bachelor number 3, we'll see you later -- MUCH later." He told me I had to say that on the show because I could get away with it, although he was quick to point out that the second girl could never get away with an answer like that because she was too sweet. Thanks a lot!
So now it's show time, and they push me out on stage in my clingy red dress, my Mick Jagger makeup and no shoes, and I have to stand there staring at Jim Lange while the announcer tells the audience all about me. I had no idea what to do with myself, and I remember being fascinated by the amount of pancake makeup plastered on Jim Lange's face and being quite surprised by how old he looked. All of a sudden, it was time for me to sit in the hot seat and listen to Jim introduce the bachelors. The first two guys said some sort of hellos, and then it was Bachelor number 3's turn. He said something along the lines of "if you like to swim and ski, then go with me, number 3." I immediately ruled him out.
I discovered that I was so wrapped up with asking my questions and keeping things moving, that it was almost impossible to actually listen to the guys' answers. I did at one point tell one of them "see you later -- much later" and I got resoundingly booed by the audience which really took me aback. Finally, about 2/3 of the way through the questioning, I said to Bachelor number 2, "Bachelor number 2, you're the world's first rock and roll preacher. Let me hear your sermon, and keep preaching until I stop you." Number 2 replied, "Okay, I want all you people to come up and give me all your money." I said, "what are you going to do with all that money." He said he was going to buy liquor with it and I asked him what my share was going to be. When he said half, I decided to choose him.
As soon as the time was up, they flashed really bright lights in my face, blasted loud music, turned me around and asked me immediately who I was going to pick. They really don't want you cheating, even on The Dating Game. There was no way there were going to give me any opportunity for coaching by the audience. Fortunately, I had already decided on number 2. When they cut back from the commercial break and Jim Lange said, "so, Jackie, have you decided who you're going to pick?" I had to resist the urge to say, "Of course, you !@!$!$%!, you made me pick him as soon as the questioning was over!" I said number 2 and then came the part where I got to meet the guys I didn't pick.
Bachelor number 1 turned out to be a John Travolta Saturday Night Fever clone (who hit on me later backstage), and Bachelor number 3 was your average nice guy surfer/ski dude. Then came the big moment. Jim Lange said "so, are you ready to meet your date?" and I said "no"! Jim gave me a dirty look and forced out a big, phony, "heh, heh, heh -- well, let me tell you something about him." The guy came out, and he was a cute, blonde guy. I figured I had picked the "right" guy. Then we found out we'd won a date to Palm Springs and I'd won a Normal Kamali bathing suit (which I never got). After that, we got to go backstage and watch the second game together.
Before I tell you about the second game, the guy I picked was an actor named John Laughlin, who would go on to star in a number of pictures, including Ken Russell's Crimes of Passion. Kathleen Turner starred in the movie as a clothing designer who is a streetwalker by night. Anthony Perkins was in it as the truly bizarre preacher who tries to save her from her life of sin, and my date, John, played the guy who falls in love with her and finds out her secret. Truly a strange movie which is considered a sort of cult classic.
The key art for Crimes of Passion
I actually went on a real date with John before our Dating Game date was scheduled to happen. We went to the Hong Kong Cafe to see Phil Seymour's band. Phil had been the drummer for Dwight Twilley (I'm on Fire), and Skyhill Publishing represented him for songwriting. As I recall, I had also invited Robin Williams to the show and he was there flirting with all the waitresses. Anyway, when it came time to go on the actual date to Palm Springs, John wasn't available, so I invited a friend of mine who worked at Licorice Pizza Records. This friend of mine was about 6'5" tall and really skinny. We had to go with a chaperone and I had to room with her. The real kicker, though, was that the show had sent us for a weekend at The Palms in Palm Springs, which was a high end fat farm. Now they call them spas, but in the early '80's, such places catered to overweight clientele. Food at the hotel was included, but the menu called for something like 800 calories a day, and both of us were stick thin. The chaperone finally felt sorry for us and took us out to eat on her own dime. All in all, a disappointing weekend.
But back to game number 2.
The woman asking the questions in the second game went out, they introduced her to her bachelors and she started asking her questions. Bachelors numbers 1 and 3 were pretty normal guys, but number 2 was really strange-looking and had a really high, odd voice. He was, however, hilariously funny, and John and I started telling each other that she had to pick him. Even though he was really weird, she couldn't resist how funny he was and she picked Bachelor number 2. When Jim Lange brought him out, he introduced him as Peewee Herman. It was one of Paul Reubens' earliest television appearances as Peewee and I will never forget being on the same show as him.
Peewee Herman
My date may have been a disaster, but Peewee was a hit.
On a final note, The Dating Game did give me an opportunity for some minor revenge on an old boyfriend. As you may have realized from the fact that the bookers had quotas, it was a real challenge getting in enough perky, interesting people to pick contestants for the show, especially the men since there were usually 6 per show. So when we went in for our taping, they would ask us to fill out a list of men who we thought would make good contestants that they could call. I put my ex-boyfriend's name and number on the list with a big star next to it, figuring he'd get pissed off when they called him. About half a year later, a friend of mine called me up and said they'd seen him on the show! I saw a rerun of it shortly after that and it was hysterical. My ex-boyfriend, Dirk, was the lead singer of an early pretty-boy band named Virgin. Virgin opened a tour for Sean Cassidy and was featured in a lot of magazines like 16 and Teen which catered to young girls. Which was really funny considering that in reality, they were a bunch of bad boy rockers. The girl who was asking questions on his show was definitely not his type. At one point she sang her "theme song" -- a big, Broadway number like "I Love a Parade" or something similar and not very rock and roll. Then she called on Dirk and asked him to sing his theme song. Without missing a beat, Dirk blurted out "Hot Legs!" and, of course, she picked him. I think he was horrified.
So I may never have gotten my Norma Kamali bathing suit, but I did get to be on a show with Peewee and my ex-boyfriend ended up on the date from hell.
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